[sizuh m, skiz-]


  1. division or disunion, especially into mutually opposed parties.
  2. the parties so formed.
  3. Ecclesiastical.

Isn’t it funny to see someone nonchalantly feed the seagulls? As a Florida kid, I heard “Do not feed the seagulls! You must never feed the seagulls!” over and over growing up. Seagulls will not leave you alone. They beg and get aggressive and really squelch a relaxing time at the beach with their squawking and hovering. My friend, Joe, was recently hit in the face by a seagull going for his chip. He had not even fed one initially. They’re maniacal.

To see somebody throw a seagull a cheeto makes my body tense up a bit. It just seems so surprising. Or course I cannot be angry or hateful to those who feed them and create chaos because they might not have grown up hearing this. Their weekend regiment might not have included ignoring the seagulls, doing the stingray shuffle, and playing beach volleyball. They grew up differently and I imagine I would do something up north that would blow the locals’ minds. I hope they forgive me.

There seems to be a sermon in there if you tilt your head and squint a bit. We mustn’t let the seagulls create schisms.

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