Crazy.

Dear G’ma,

I guess it’s a little crazy that I’m writing these to you. It’s just a lot crazy that you’re gone and I guess it’s helping me cope. I know we know our grandparents will get older and will pass away but that doesn’t mean it will be easy. When I start to get overly emotional, the rational part of me thinks, ‘Beth, calm down. She had 87 years of a wonderful life.’

Yes, that is true, but I had 33 years, my entire life to love you, to admire you, to call when I missed or needed you. My whole life, I’ve had a bright light in my Grandma Dixie, always available (except at siesta time) for a wise word, a laugh, a book review, a sweet sentiment, a shoulder to lean on. The void feels absolutely incredibly GIGANTIC and so worth mourning over. Yes, you had a great long life but it sure does feel like it ended too soon. I have the Pen Pal card that says “Feel better immediately” still in my satchel for you and ten cards in my cart that you ordered to send to your friends.

We will all congregate on the day after Thanksgiving to have the celebration of life ceremony. It will be beautiful, I have no doubt, because your life was so beautifully lived. But I’m sure it will bring another meaning to “Black Friday” for us; the world does seem a bit darker without our sweet Dixie in it.

I LOVE YOU,

Beth