\ KREYP-hang-er \  , noun; 

1.a person who sees the gloomy side of things; pessimist.

It’s really easy to be a crapehanger. I mean, if you’ve already had half of your Americano, you know there’s only half left and that’s a gloomy realization.

As I was driving to work, I was stuck behind someone from Illinois. We were going 40 mph in a 60 mph limit zone. I started to act like a real crapehanger and kept checking the busy left lane as I put my blinker on to pass the tourist. Then I thought, I’m going to go 40 mph and I’m going to look at the view like I’ve never seen it before. I’m going to imagine what an Illinoisan must notice and enjoy. It was lovely. The water was still and it looked like glass. It was relaxing and eye-opening and I arrived at work just one minute late and a lot happier.

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