Tannenbaum.

[tah-nuh n-boum; English tan–uh n-boum]

noun, plural Tannenbäume 

[tah-nuh n-boi-muh] (Show IPA). English, Tannenbaums. German.

1. a Christmas tree.

It was a very Idahoey, wintery, Christmasy thing to do, so we poured hot dark coffee in thermoses, brought my last Cold Mountain into the cold mountains, and trudged through the snowy forest to find the perfect Tannenbaums.

It was only $10 for a permit to go into the woods and find “the one” to cover in lights and adorn with Grandma Doris’ tree skirt and an assortment of ornaments made in third grade.

When I saw him, I said, “The more I look at him, the more I like him.”

Meet Herman. He’s exactly what I dreamed my first tiny real tree to be.

And meet James and his dazzler, Dolores:

Herman is not as close to the fire as he appears. Fear not.