conk.

Conk [kongk, kawngk] verb (used without object), Slang.

  1. to slow down or stop; lose energy (often followed by out).
  2. to go to sleep (usually followed by off or out).

Instead of speaking, I waved to Oliver (the toddler I babysit) this morning, since he usually says, “Do not talk to me, Beth!” when I tell him good morning.

He acknowledged my wave and gave me enough silence for me to think today was going to be a really pleasant day. Then at the top of his two year old lungs he screamed, “DO NOT WAVE AT ME, BETH!!!” Ah, yes, there it was.

Sometimes this attitude changes after 10am or so, but today it was consistent.

Me: wow this bear is so cozy.
Oliver: HE IS NOT COZY!!

It made me excited about when he would conk out for his afternoon nap, to be very honest.

He had an all day diarrhea situation. He didn’t want me to change his diaper so he ran around screaming. I thought how twisted it was to keep saying, “Oliver, come here. Let me change your diaper” like it was something I really wanted to do.

I feel sorry for his little stomach and rear. I really do. But the rest of the day became a countdown until he conked out. If I could make it until 2:00, I would deserve two glasses of wine. And that will help me conk out this evening.

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